Growing Up

I seriously have no idea what was I thinking. Slept at 7am, woke up at 10am to make a call to reschedule my IPL treatment to 5pm then appear there at 4.15pm. Did it earlier and ran (yes I ran!) on a train to the airport.

I was stinking sweat then; supposingly feel frustrated but I felt satisfied, I did not think twice. I was going to meet my sister and her sons whom is flying overseas, to which the next time we meet is undefined.

Over the years, I became gradually careful of my options and decisions at all times. People said it is called growing up, I think it I called normalizing ones' creativity, it is somehow consuming me at the same time. I felt like a right brainer turning into a left brainer and slowly going to be a no brainer.

I can feel the sense of losing myself to the norm of the society especially to do something adhocly has become a choice.

If this is growing up, why was I not warned?
If this is growing up, is creativity the only thing I will be giving up on?
If this is growing up, have I lost more than just my spontaneity and have not realized it?
If this is growing up, will I fail to know myself soon?

I don't have an answer, will I ever have an answer? I really wish I can screw work, buy a ticket, fly anywhere now, think it through there then decide the next step. Well since tomorrow is a working day, I am not getting on a last minute flight anywhere.

Return ticket to my work is the only available option right now. Do you feel the same?