I am always intrigued by how others live their lives because
I want to know how to make my life matters. My whole life, I have been
searching for a meaning, the meaning.
Unsure if this is only me but everyone seems to be doing
great in their lives.
I have tried to work up the corporate level, taste of sense
of achievement yet I start to feel the emptiness of life, the lack of
livelihood and passion driven aggressiveness. I can’t stop to wonder if this is
something that happens to everyone.
Life became more and more bulky when it is going into the
unknown then one tends to do more and more to get it more meaningful. This leads
to living someone else’s dream, someone else’s goal and someone else’s life.
Life is too short to live for someone else.
I took a leap of faith and took 20 days off to Netherlands
to meet up with the sister that I didn’t have the best relationship with,
together with my mother whom I didn’t have a great relationship. 2 months ago,
my sister gave birth to her 3rd child, a baby girl.
Baby was born in a water bath and when I arrived, she was
already 2 months old. She only knew how to poo, pee, sleep and cry for milk.
Then on the day I left, she can already understand if a person is talking to
her, she can recognize me, and she can even suck her thumb to soothe herself.
Once upon a time, that was me. I was so focused and indulged
to find the next thing in life to make a tat better. One thing at the time was
a thing and a big happiness for my family when they see me doing the next thing
they have been longing, there were pure happiness and encouragement.
This will be my focus in life hereon, to live while
breathing.
