Saturday, 26 October 2019

It is easy to say..

There has been some stressful moments. I made the choice to take up the counter offer of probational promotion and stayed on.

I worked really hard for almost 3 months now, 90 days plan is almost over, some plans gone as planned, some didn't. It was within expectation that some will not go as planned. Great news is my promotion is confirmed, there is only 1 person whom know and now probably the readers of this blog.

I have so much on my mind to let go but there is even more that need my mind on, is it mandatory in the corporate world to overwork the brain for a cause that belonged to others?

Turning 30 last month have been different. I tried to make peace with my past by embracing the fear I had, that's the only way I can be transformed. Maleficient: Mistress of Evil, shared about it is not what makes you, it is what you choose to become. Don't forget who you are.

I tend to forget who I am.

There are many things I said to myself that I will do but I have always pushed it forward to give way to my work, the work that is working towards someone else's cause. I have forgotten what is my cause and I just can't seem to find it now.

10 years ago, I had some simple but impossible goals; I achieved those impossible goals in 9 years, unexpectedly.

Right now I am just busy facing the body weight issue others seems to have on me, the multitasking skill that is assumed to be the reason I should be assisting others if I looked free (gosh I wish they remember I work with my brain not my body), the answer towards when will I be married while they are not interested to pay for my household, the reasoning I need to give when I am late because I am too held up with my brain being occupied while it is not within my control, etc.

Am I supposed to manage these petty chores while a bigger picture is somewhere waiting for me? 

Why am I answerable to them and why do they even bother what I wish to do?

So many questions that is without an answer because I am busy working on someone else's cause and those petty issues or chores to be done.

It is easy to say whatever you feel if you are not going to be responsible to what happened to me afterwards but I am not like you, I am just going to take my time, do my best and go with my own flow.

Growing up is to let the different streams flow until it goes to the river that ends at the sea. I will flow in my stream to the river that will let me end at the ocean, what about you?