Growing Up

I seriously have no idea what was I thinking. Slept at 7am, woke up at 10am to make a call to reschedule my IPL treatment to 5pm then appear there at 4.15pm. Did it earlier and ran (yes I ran!) on a train to the airport.

I was stinking sweat then; supposingly feel frustrated but I felt satisfied, I did not think twice. I was going to meet my sister and her sons whom is flying overseas, to which the next time we meet is undefined.

Over the years, I became gradually careful of my options and decisions at all times. People said it is called growing up, I think it I called normalizing ones' creativity, it is somehow consuming me at the same time. I felt like a right brainer turning into a left brainer and slowly going to be a no brainer.

I can feel the sense of losing myself to the norm of the society especially to do something adhocly has become a choice.

If this is growing up, why was I not warned?
If this is growing up, is creativity the only thing I will be giving up on?
If this is growing up, have I lost more than just my spontaneity and have not realized it?
If this is growing up, will I fail to know myself soon?

I don't have an answer, will I ever have an answer? I really wish I can screw work, buy a ticket, fly anywhere now, think it through there then decide the next step. Well since tomorrow is a working day, I am not getting on a last minute flight anywhere.

Return ticket to my work is the only available option right now. Do you feel the same?

The Right Person

Do you know who is the right person for you in your life?

I used to think that I will not find the right person for me in my life and I have been struggling to feel happy and secured.

Maybe it is age factor or maybe because I have been through a lot hence recently I felt that finding the right person is not finding the person you want but it's about finding the person that can let you become the person you should be becoming, making me more of the person that will love life, becoming the person that enjoy life, becoming the person that will feel satisfied and will never ever hate being alive.

I met (and left) this guy whom I was with for 5 years, someone I wanted to have in my life. He treated me well in the first few months then he became really controlling until an extend he beat me and kept me in the house for 2 years. I couldn't explain why I sucked it up back then but I eventually came to my conscience and worked my way out of his sight. I was kept away from his family for 5 years, earned and spent all my money, took up bank loans on his behalf, lost all my savings, got trouble in my first business attempt and I couldn't work because he regularly came to harass me at my work place.

I wouldn't thank him for who I am today because with or without him, I would live another day without scar on my body, heart and mind. Everything happened for a reason and I am grateful I lived that through.

On another occasion, I am currently dating a guy whom I never thought I would be with. He was boring (now not that boring), blunt and most of the time seemed cold to me. Me being a talkative, outgoing and passionate person, we didn't connect quite well. There were numerous ups and downs but he sticked around really tightly, we grew together.

What made me really sure about him being in my life for the longest of time is the fact that he loves my family and his family the same way, although we are still just dating. He cares for my sister and mother's well being without being asked. He constantly reminds me of going back to home and let me be myself.

He used to piss me of by trying to talk me into his way but upon confrontation of the situation, he respect my choice and I learned to respect his choice too.

A side note, he used to be very calculative about money, I was a person whom don't think when I spend (I am not in debt); we changed. He taught me how to save and I taught him how to spend well, I can say that we have stable financial now because we were so different in handling our financial thus benefited us by being balanced! This will be shared on how in another post.

The point I wish to say is that, it don't really matter who you want to have in your life but the person you need in your life, to be a better version of you. I am thankful and grateful to be able to meet this loyal person  whom have made me a better person along the way.

Are you currently seeing the person you never thought you wanted but just happened to be the one that you need?

How much does it cost to keep a memory?

A place I wish to keep in my life, has been sold.

This is the place that I have stayed during my high school time, the place that witness my first love, first time being away from home, first time going on a date, first time raring my own rabbit, first time raring my own fish, first time taking care of an elderly, first time prayed until I cried, the place I spent the most time with an elderly and learned that no matter what happens in life, always look at it differently because everything changes every second.

I received a message informing that the place I grew up in, has been officially sold at the tag price of near to 4 million Ringgits. I do not own it, neither did my direct family have any ownership towards it but it has been sold and it will highly be turned into a commercialized venue since it is situated in the centre of attention in one of the most well known heritage in Malaysia.

Do you know what makes it hurtful?

I have been working really hard for 10 years with the purpose of having to be able to have the capital to keep my memories and buy thing I always wanted to keep. This time round, I couldn't do it because it is too costly, something that I cannot afford.

Making the feeling worse, it was purchased by my former schoolmates whom were at least 1 year younger than me, 4 of them. I wonder what did they do to be able to buy the property so quickly since they graduated much later than me.

It is definitely a mixed feelings because I cannot afford it while those graduated after me can. (Note: I didn't go to university hence started working 4 years earlier than them)

I know many would think that it could be that they are rich or made a fortune or probably struck a lottery to afford it. Have a thought at it, they afford something I couldn't, what is my excuse to still be status quo?

Opportunity knocks on the door

The fisherman's boat sinked and he was hanging on the float he had.

He prayed hard for God to help him. 

A luxurious cruise passed by and offered his a free spot on the ship, he rejected saying he is waiting for God to save him. 

A fishing boat passed by and offered him to be on the boat so that he can have enough of food to eat and warm his body. He rejected saying he is waiting for God to save him. 

A submarine passed by seeing him floating and they offered him to be in the submarine so that he can be sent onshore for proper medical treatment. He refused the offer, saying he rejected saying he is waiting for God to save him. 

A patrolling helicopter passed by and saw him in the middle of the sea. They attempt to save him but he struggled and refused to be on the helicopter, saying he rejected saying he is waiting for God to save him. 

He floated and arrive to an island where it is hosted by its origin and they saved him but he jumped back into the ocean and thought that he is waiting for God to save him.

Yes you guessed it right, he died. When he gone to heaven, he questioned God, why didn't God save him while he have been praying for it.

God told him that He have sent a luxurious cruise, a submarine, a fish boat, an island and a helicopter but the fisherman refused all of it. How can he be the one questioning? 

When was the last time you turn down an opportunity a friend shared with you to earn money because you don't think you have the time, energy,  skill or it is not the opportunity you are praying for?

Ask yourself, is it possible you earn more, gain more, grow more by keep on doing the same thing?

Bill Gates quotes, "if you are born poor, it is not your fault but if you die poor, it is your fault" .

My quote, if you were like that one year ago, it may not be your fault but if you are still like that one year later, whose fault do you think it is?

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Passive Income 2 - Should I charge less for tuition?

Anyone whom have a child in Asia would most probably send their child to a tuition class, it is a type of class on top of the ordinary classes to be attended by any student from primary up (6 to 7-year-old) to secondary (17 to 19-year-old).

Have you ever encountered this situation when you are own a business, a part time or a full time job and your friends or family actually ask you to earn less from them because they think that they are someone in their lives?

While a child attends a tuition class, it is counted by hours. As low as RM20 per hour up to RM50 per hour, depending on the subject to be studied.

An average student goes to tuition 2 days a week, each time 1.5 hours to 2 hours, per subject. During school holidays it can be from 3 days up to 5 days a week, in order to get the students on track during school holidays.

An average tuition teacher gets 5-10 students per class, per 1.5 hours or 2 hours.

Assuming that a student attend tuition 2 days a week, each time 2 hours, per month it will be RM640.
Assuming that a teacher does the same as above and have 7 students, that teacher get RM4,480 per month.

However, there is situation where a tuition teacher have relatives and friends whom thinks that they prefer the "special price" so the tuition teacher have to charge a "discounted" price tuition fee. If there is one in each class, paying at the minimal of RM20 per hour, the teach end up losing RM320 per month.

What would you do if you are asked to provide discount?
Would you still think this is an ideal business?
What if the discount is to make it free?

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Passive Income 1 - Should I share my Referral Fee?

If you have worked in a corporate company, you may heard of referral fee.

So you refer a friend in favour to get them a job at your awesome company then upon their confirmation of employment, you get your cut of referral fee that you deserved. Your friend told you that he/she deserve the cut in half because they were confirmed.

If we were to not give half of the share, we risk of losing a recently confirmed "colleague", a known before friend, would most probably be defamed by a person whom we once called friend, worst part is that we might be the most wanted selfish person because we refused to share and things could go dramatically ugly.

Many I know have encountered this so the easy way out is to unwilling, devastatingly and painstakingly give out the other half.

Will you give is not the question, should you give it?

Answer this:

1. Did your friend get the job before you got yours?

2. Would your friend know about the job before you said so?

3. Can your friend's resume standout in all those resumes in queue for the position offered?

If your answer is no or maybe for all the above, then you should never share it. That person have to be confirmed to keep their job and to get their regular paychecks. You're not the person whom have to determine if this person is to be confirmed, you're not the person that decides to employ this person, most importantly your company is paying this person's salary, not you.

I can share the referral fee but please share with me your every month's salary during probation period because I REFERRED YOU.

Do you have a friend that wish to work part time? Refer them and you get paid.

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